A HUGE Thankyou to the World of Warcraft EU Forums!

And by that I'm not being sarcastic! So, here goes....

HUGE THANKYOU!

While this all sounds fine and dandy to those who know what I'm talking about, others may be confused. Don't worry, I would be too. So, here's the linky to my thread that has been answered to my liking,

http://eu.battle.net/wow/en/forum/topic/2868757021#1

There you'll find the reason of my happiness. Yes, I'm learning to Tank. I started recently, and can I just say it was bloody wonderful! I can? Then it was bloody wonderful!

Yes, crap actionbar bindings, etc. Hey, at least I've got "T" for Taunt. I mean, seriously, having to actually move ones wrist to click buttons?! Pfft! Wow, long caption.

Johnior, in all his glory(?), is pictured above, as Captain Looms. He's changed quite a bit since then (perhaps in level and in gear, who knows), and is a happy chappy. But in his first two dungeons (both Deadmines. It's OK once, but c'mon, not twice in a row!), he's learnt a few things:

1. If you've never done it before (in any game for that matter), it's hard work. Having to remember the buttons (instead of hitting "W" and "G" for Jewelcrafting and Mining, when I wanted "2" for Strike, or "R" when I needed my Taunt button) can be tricky in the heat of battle.
2. Taking aggro can be annoying when you've got Captain Megapull taking aggro for you (as polite as it sounds, it's not. It's annoying for us Tanks).
3. Playing Warrior has got to be my favourite thing so far. Not just for Tanking, but it feels comfortable in quests too.
4. It has raised my self esteem massively. Knowing that I can lead the charge and I haven't been blamed for anything yet - it feels great!
5. Hunters can be EXTREMELY annoying for Aggro!*

The thrill of Taunting, Rending, Thunderclapping, ???-ing, then Profiting is wonderful. I feel that I'm not just mindlessly spamming buttons, doing a Captain Faceroll (lots of Captains, aren't there?) and gawfering "trololololo", but actually doing something beneficial.

* = OK, allow me to explain. When I finally learn the keybinds for my character, make sure that the Rend is applied BEFORE Thunderclap and have around 200%+ aggro, guess what happens? Captain Arrows - 30 yards away - is pew-pewing shots, attacking different targets to me and gaining aggro wherever. OK, this only happened once. But who replaced him? Oh, it was Captain Looms and Captain Priest combined to make.... Captain-Discipriest-in-looms? But OK, it was annoying. I can understand you wanna get your DoT in before I get aggro, but please, take some advice from my main: Wait at least 1.5, perhaps 2 seconds before you go ape shit with your weapons. While you may think the Tank's got aggro, his percentage could be 90% and glowing orange. There's barely anything stopping that mob from turning around, killing you and then saying "ffs nub tank wtf".

So, that's my experiences for now. I have to admit, I'm feeling a lot better playing WoW. Perhaps, after some training, I'll go back to Resto Druidism, and find more joy in directly helping.

And back to the boys and girls of the EU WoW forums - thanks ever so much for helping me out - for the advice, the courage and perhaps a few peeks at your armor! Best of luck!

Johnior, Sindor'ei Warrior ^_^



A game that's harder than tits!

It's the game I wouldn't f*ck with your dick! Yes, it's DooM - a game that offers so much unnecessary violence, eye-bleeding graphics and the sh*t-scariest soundtrack in the world! You know it's a good game when it's an iD game.

When DooM was released, it was the closes thing you could get without shitting your pants and being laughed at. When your scream was heard, everyone knew it was the DooM scream. Upon pressing START to play, you're in the shoes of a marine. You're in the sh*t from the beginning. But that was in 1990. In 2011 there was a new game, a new WAD for this retro-rollercoaster to the Inferno. It was Tourettes Guy DooM!

You're outta the butt, and into the fuck now!

Well, there you have it - living proof of Tourettes Guy DooM. Just by looking at the cover, you can see it's gonna be a kick-ass load of crap. Pay attention to the kick-ass part.

First look

Upon beating the grey boot-up screen, I had to wait a few seconds to recognize the theme. It wasn't that of DooM, but one of the themes from dating game show, the Dating Game! While trying to dry the tears of laughter from my eyes, I'd chosen one of the four difficulties (all four of which are quotes of TG's, respectively).

At first glance there wasn't a great deal that had changed. The Marine's hand and weapons were still the same, but that was only a minor disappointment. I knew it would take several gigabytes, hours and raves (yes, mods are prone to crashing), so I ignored that and had a look at what I had. There were new items (beer instead of "potions", Total cereal instead of health packs, M&Ms instead of Invulnerabilty things, etc), a new HUD which had Danny's head rather than Blazkowiks', and of course, new quotes.

Yes, quotes. Depending on how Danny kills something, or takes damage, he will holler one of his many quotes. Whether it be "PISS!", "Damn, that's some good SHIT!" or "Get in the bathroom and shave your SIDEBURNS!", there'll always be something for some reason.

Fighting bosses as Danny was surprisingly more humorous than I thought. The super-mega-death-spider was particularly amusing. Forever firing rockets at it, eventually whacking it with my fists to finish it, was most entertaining. Oh, and the f*cking swearing kept the game alive.

What now?

After completing each campaign, half-dead, battered and bruised, I was glad I'd achieved something. I'd never completed all 4 campaigns, just 3 of them. I didn't care if it wasn't original DooM, it was still DooM.

The game never really got boring. If I did get bored, I'd pack it in, play some Unreal Tournament, go back on and take the seriousness off my shoulders. I remember playing this game on the train, being told off because of the profanities, but people still came round and asked, "Did you make that?" I told them "no, but a guy named Twistedmethoddan did. Check him out on YouTube." I wrote the name down and gave it to them. If I were that unlucky, they would've approached me again next week, same time and said "hey, that game's real awesome! I downloaded it from his channel!"

So there you have it - Tourettes Guy DooM doesn't ruin the original experience, but rather alters it instead of adding something to it. You can still keep the seriousness of classic DooM, but have some more humor other than a heartless marine's pet rabbit being killed.

All we can hope for now is Danny Nukem: Sagets to Kill!





World of Riftcraft: Similar or Copied?

Anyone who plays MMO games now will probably heard of a game called Rift. I remember hearing about it them moment it hit the Steam Store. I rushed onto the forums to see if it was worth getting. Now, being Steam forums and not the Trion Worlds (the makers of the game) forums, I was expecting there to be a lot of trolling and flame-wars. It was like looking at what was going to happen to Los Angeles in The Terminator. But I pushed all that aside and saw only people saying how great this game would be. But after looking at various screenshots, wikis and videos of sneak-peek gameplay, I couldn't help but notice that this game was very much like World of Warcraft, but at the time I was for Rift, rather than against it.

But why was I for this game? I mean, I bought Rift but I also had WoW. I guess it has something to do with the fact that I was bored of being a ginger Dwarf Hunter called McDipper. Don't get me wrong, I love WoW but it's just like every MMO on the market - Age of Conan, EverQuest, Aion, Final Fantasy.... need I go on?

In WoW it's all "go find this person" and "go kill [x] amount of [y]" or "collect [a] amount of [b]". As disappointed as I was, I still played the game and stopped complaining. I didn't like being a mage much in World of Warcraft, as it was too simple and I'd seen it all before. OK, it wasn't too different from Elder Scrolls games, but at least Bethesda did it right! Ah, the Hunter was the life for me, and it was the exact same thing on WoW as it was Rift.

I soon lost my nice opinion on Rift, as the game was exactly the same except for graphics. Here's how:

• There are two sides - the "good" and the "evil". They're not really good or evil, they just have similar ways of doing things. And these two teams are against each other. There's the "Alliance" who rely on magic and worship, and the "Defiant" who rely on "Technomancy" and clocks.
• The inventory system is identical to various other MMORPG's, and they couldn't think of anything original.
• The combat system is the same and therefore boring
• Classes have exactly the same names, icons, statistics as WoW
• The game practically begins with the same concept - there's a war, now do your part for it by killing these and getting these.
• Lots of enemies that have been seen and done before.
• If Trion added a "Dungeon Finder", we'd know they have nothing else to copy. Without it, they're screwed.

To be honest, I don't think Rift copied entirely from WoW, but there are many things that are the same, and they get repetitive and extremely boring. If I wanted to play Adventure Quest: Worlds, I would do. I don't need to pay £15/month for that, because it's free!

Look at LOTRO - that has quests which aren't too hard or repetitive. It has awesome raids and many things to bring people together. Out of all the MMO's out so far though, believe it or not Runescape is the best. Not an opinion, but a fact. There aren't a great deal of "kill these, collect these and talk to him/her/it" quests, and they're still decent. Runescape isn't repetitive - it changes all the time, and there's always something to do. If any MMO wants inspiration, turn to Runescape or LOTRO - at least they know what they're doing.

In the meantime, I'll let YOU make an opinion on World of Warcraft, Rift and other MMO's. ^_^

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion - Sheer Beauty

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is one of the biggest titles of the PC, XBOX 360 and the Playstation 3. Not to mention one of the greatest games of all time. I would talk about the whole ES franchise, but we'd be here forever, and that's not the point of this thread. I'd like to talk about the forth game, and it's beautiful graphics, and soothing soundtrack.

Now if that ain't gorgeous, I don't know what is

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is renowned for its extremely detailed scenery, the realistic expressions of characters' faces, and of course, the characters themselves. From the demons to Dagon, from rocks to roads, I'll be talking about it all here on this post. Why? Because if there's one woman I have to say I love, she's called Cyrodiil.

Bethesda were the creators of Fallout 3, completely changing the way that series looked. The nitty-gritty look of the Capital Wasteland's crumbling ruins truly caught our attention. I didn't like its graphics at first, but the rough edges and quite pixilated borders around objects and buildings really set the scene. Everything is glum, there's no hope of survival, death is waiting around every corner - it's reality, and we can't escape it. But Cyrodiil is a world full of hope, light and wonder - we can travel for hours through the mountains of Bruma, the plains of Anvil to Chorrol, and roam the beaches surrounding the Imperial City in peace. We're armed, ready and we're hardened prisoners, so we have no fear of the odd mud crab or the mob of Goblin berserkers. The atmosphere is a positive one, and we will fight for it, but not die for it.

Wow, I can't wait to nuke Megaton for a few bottle caps from this view!

Sheer beauty - that's what it is. Even Oblivion: the place we can truly call Hell on Earth, with its seas of bubbling lava, smoke-filled air and killer plantlife, we still find something about it amazing. The soundtrack fills us with dread, and it can make our bones chill more than the coldest night in Winter. We get a feel of what it's like to be scared in Dagon's realm.

But not all that is Daedric is about blood, fire and death. Take Sheogorath's realm - two sides of good and evil. It's like putting ES 4 and Fallout 3 together: Mania, the fantasy realm of good and Dementia, the land of depression and hopelessness. Sheogorath - even though he has a lot of people killing each other in both cities - is a rather cheery fellow. He doesn't like shouting, nor does he mind the fact he'll explode and become the giant version of the Tinman from Wizard of Oz. He too knows what beauty is - he wears lots of bizarre colours, not to mention uses them to decorate his realm. In the badly named Shivering Isles, we have giant orange mushrooms, greasy green cobblestones, mutated Koopas without shells, and huge ants which I swear were in Fallout 3.

Sheogorath doesn't need to pluck my eyes out to make me come again! Eww....

I can't possibly say any more to you than "see it for yourself"! Have a look at videos, images, mods - play the sodding game! Because this truly is a beautiful game, with inspirational graphics that no-one else can master! You thought Rift on highest quality was good? Pah! Wait 'til you see this game! It'll always give you butterflies in your stomach (similar to the ones in the above picture, but not as many) and a lump in your throat. Now if you'd excuse me, I've got to see to my fair lady Cyrodiil....

If you think this is wrong, see what they do with plants!

Welcome to the official Greenteeth Blog!

Hi there, and welcome to the official Greenteeth Productions blog! You may know our (or should I say "my") little thing going on at YouTube - we review games, swear a lot and try to make things funny.

Here on this blog you'll find:

• Videos - whether they be exclusive to this blog, or available to the public eye on YouTube
• Reviews - some long and short reviews of games which we all know and love
• Rants - absolute rage going towards some games (NOTE: NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY)
• Critisism - you'll see all the arguable negative points about a game here
• Notes - just some things we'd like to talk about in a game, and what interests us at the moment

That's all for now really on this post! We hope you enjoy the rest of the blog!
Oh, and apologies if it's not up to the greatest standards in the world - we're new to blogging! ^_^