When DooM was released, it was the closes thing you could get without shitting your pants and being laughed at. When your scream was heard, everyone knew it was the DooM scream. Upon pressing START to play, you're in the shoes of a marine. You're in the sh*t from the beginning. But that was in 1990. In 2011 there was a new game, a new WAD for this retro-rollercoaster to the Inferno. It was Tourettes Guy DooM!
You're outta the butt, and into the fuck now!
Well, there you have it - living proof of Tourettes Guy DooM. Just by looking at the cover, you can see it's gonna be a kick-ass load of crap. Pay attention to the kick-ass part.
First look
Upon beating the grey boot-up screen, I had to wait a few seconds to recognize the theme. It wasn't that of DooM, but one of the themes from dating game show, the Dating Game! While trying to dry the tears of laughter from my eyes, I'd chosen one of the four difficulties (all four of which are quotes of TG's, respectively).
At first glance there wasn't a great deal that had changed. The Marine's hand and weapons were still the same, but that was only a minor disappointment. I knew it would take several gigabytes, hours and raves (yes, mods are prone to crashing), so I ignored that and had a look at what I had. There were new items (beer instead of "potions", Total cereal instead of health packs, M&Ms instead of Invulnerabilty things, etc), a new HUD which had Danny's head rather than Blazkowiks', and of course, new quotes.
Yes, quotes. Depending on how Danny kills something, or takes damage, he will holler one of his many quotes. Whether it be "PISS!", "Damn, that's some good SHIT!" or "Get in the bathroom and shave your SIDEBURNS!", there'll always be something for some reason.
Fighting bosses as Danny was surprisingly more humorous than I thought. The super-mega-death-spider was particularly amusing. Forever firing rockets at it, eventually whacking it with my fists to finish it, was most entertaining. Oh, and the f*cking swearing kept the game alive.
What now?
After completing each campaign, half-dead, battered and bruised, I was glad I'd achieved something. I'd never completed all 4 campaigns, just 3 of them. I didn't care if it wasn't original DooM, it was still DooM.
The game never really got boring. If I did get bored, I'd pack it in, play some Unreal Tournament, go back on and take the seriousness off my shoulders. I remember playing this game on the train, being told off because of the profanities, but people still came round and asked, "Did you make that?" I told them "no, but a guy named Twistedmethoddan did. Check him out on YouTube." I wrote the name down and gave it to them. If I were that unlucky, they would've approached me again next week, same time and said "hey, that game's real awesome! I downloaded it from his channel!"
So there you have it - Tourettes Guy DooM doesn't ruin the original experience, but rather alters it instead of adding something to it. You can still keep the seriousness of classic DooM, but have some more humor other than a heartless marine's pet rabbit being killed.
All we can hope for now is Danny Nukem: Sagets to Kill!
